I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
