You can't special order awesome
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
