Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
