Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
