what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
