she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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