sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
