I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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