I looked at my own cervix.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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