DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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