so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
