I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
