fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
