Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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