The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
