hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
