were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
