You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
