I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
