Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
