this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Still dying that you shit outside
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
