I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
