ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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