Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
