OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just pee around me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
