Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
