He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
