I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
