So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
