sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Shame - the story of my life.
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