I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
