shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
