In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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