Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i wish my penis had a tongue
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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