please come you make the beer taste better
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
