He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
