i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Be still, my beating vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
