I hope mine doesn't look like that
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
