Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
