sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
