Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
