the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
