Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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