Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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