i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
