Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
