I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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