She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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