i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
