how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
