I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
