it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
