Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
