He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
