When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
