You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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